she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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