i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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