i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
