I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You're like the curious george of whores
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
