I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
