Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
