he thought i was a dude.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
