just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
