I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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