i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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