took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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