So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
