I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize