My first STD was from a foam party
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Randomize
