Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
