wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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