Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Is it because I queefed?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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