how can u be prego again
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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