giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
