yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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