porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
