That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
