I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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