hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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