I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
