I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize