They should really pass out barf bags in church
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
