Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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