you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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