I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Congratulations! We have a period
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
