hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
