hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
