I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
