Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
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He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
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"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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