just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
