dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
