You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
