im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
