I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
