Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
