I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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