is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
