i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
