The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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