I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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