Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
how does that bad decision feel?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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