im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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