My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
