U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
