You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize