we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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