I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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