Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
what day is it and did you see me today?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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