just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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