He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
