i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
