Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
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