I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
