I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
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she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
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well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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