hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize