Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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