I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My cat gives me a boner
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
