i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
