I heard we made out
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize