Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
